ol i need is a sparkle of luck!

***
30 March 2009
i was crying badly last nite, sangat burok n sangatlah tak macho. y? Aina left oredi. yeap, she left for good. got a new job in PJ and now terkontang-kantinglah daku sorang2 di sini. 4 years of frenship, we cried, we laugh, we quarrel, we danced..umh, sgt2 lah byk knangan n i was so sure she'll neva leave me behind. we share the same opinions on almost everything!mekna, aku mau ikot kamuu!!!

***

31 March 2009
lunch time.

these conversation happens only in my thoughts.
"eh, nok kol mekna la if she wants to hv Pecalele." picked up the phone n dialled...truttt~
"oops, mekna key kelit Putarajaya doh" put aside the phone. urgh.
"oh,no..well beha. REMINDER: u r alone now, no lunch-mate"
"come on..think of sumone else,hurry up"
"ahhhaaa! TINK! nobody...-__-*
"ok, be strong..eleh,manjo2 sgt neyh"

mekna, kalu lah aku bleh nyanyi lagu Baby Come Back ko mum~

uhh.

shopaholic.

Pls watch Confessions of Shopaholic. Rebecca Bloomwood sgtlah myself. eh, no. i dun have credit cards lah. tp, i really like how the author expressed the feeling when a shopaholic shops! hahahaha...watched the movie wif my housemate, k. zairin (its her 2nd time watching it)!!hahahhaah...sgt syok! love it. n yes, she lived a lie. well, sape tak pnah menipu? its just how bad it is jer~

ok.

confessions

well, its time to make some things clear.

1. its true,i am a dancer. yes, dan sangat giler akan mnari.

2. again, oso wif theater. in the past 3 years, i've been in dekat 4-5 theaters.

3. dun judge me when im on stage. hahaha. its a completely different person. still me. without the tudung lah.

4. some of my close friends alredi know about this split-identity of mine. mommy oso knew.

5. y am i confessing these? uhh. maybe its bcoz of those pics tagged by Kak Jumie in fb.

6. hahahahah.

If u cud only Understand.

di kala aku sepi, aku suke sangat type sumthing jiwang seperti ini. tolong jgn muntah darah. its not about who is the person m dedicating this. its about what i felt. again, life's is about up and down. dun expect too much. kita hanya manusia biasa.

the day where i felt like love cant rule life. at all.

sorry,
thats the only word i can say.

i hate it when we dun even speak the same language now.
i hate it when we hit different notes when we talked.
i hate it when u cudnt even tolarate with late smses.
i hate it when u hate my frens.
i hate it when u make me cry.
i hate it when u think i lied.
i hate it when i keep on living with these hates.
i hate it when i know deep down i still want us to be together.
And i hate the facts that We Cant Be Together.

i can no longer be patient.
i have my own world, n it evolves around me.
ppl can understand me. y cant u?

i love u when u used to make me laugh, but it faded with time.
i love u when u used to make me smiles, but now my heart ached when u talked.
i love u when we used to know wats best for us, but now we are on different paths.

there's no need to hold on.
i will never regret to have u cheering my life. i will oso never regret to let u go.
if im not urs, then u must be somebody else's.

i've tried my best. but this love faded. the colours didnt shine anymore.
im sorry.

yes,
i do have sins. i make mistakes. a lot. major mistakes.
n its for u to know, i wont let u live with these haunting ur head.
so, pls move on. as i will move on too.
i do love u, n true love is to let u go.

sorry.

Lost.

I still dun have the feelings to post a tribute to dear Sir, i wonder if i still cudnt believe this bad news. But,ere are some blog posts + fb's notes + comments...do read about him, and if u cry, take note that he's really in ur heart. Sir, forever u'll be remembered. May ur soul be blessed. Amin..

http://tengkuatique.blogspot.com/2009/03/bukan-sekadar-seorang-guru.html

http://terteaforsea.blogspot.com/2009/03/cikgu-mahisham-best-loved-teacher-who.html

http://smz100.blogspot.com/2006/12/kudos-to-mahisham.html

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=20346&id=1181066358&ref=mf#/note.php?note_id=59959769034&comments

Mereka.

well, at least one of my mengidamness did come true. budat2 nakal itu was in Penang last 2 days. yep, my bro's here for his convocation, Onto-sumthin2-logi Specialist. hahahhaa. Pakar telinga-hidung-tekak (ear nose n throat). kesian Abe, nobody's here. yelah, wrong timing bro. ape daaa USM wat mini-convo on working days. so, momi was here. together with those cute 3 little musketeers. *oh, sangat2 buas* the Energizer-Idris, the UltraAiman and the cute-manja2 OmMMahhhh!

babysitting was neva this easy. whahaha..budat2 tido sampai pkul 11. thank God they didnt wake up early. huru-hara lah without the ummi n ayoh.

let me show u my angels. plis dun get jealous. they are as adorable as me. hahak!

idris!


aiman~


omar..

n some pics of Abe in robe~ kwang2

hahaha...Congratulations once again~..

thats all..wait for more~

being messy. n lots of lies.

elop,

just trying to clear things out. i've been lying for the past 3 months about my blog. no, i didnt do any 'renovation' or editing or even feels like doing anything to it. it was becoz of i really dun have the feelings the write anything. everything was so mixed up. i cant even think straight. i was a bad driver for the past few months becoz my head was up in the air. thinking of nothingness that'll fill my life. fuh. lies. lies. n lies.

now, im back again. stretching out my fingers n let loose of my brain. wat makes me into blogging again? yep, i wanted to write about Allahyarham Sir Mahisham, the most dearly-beloved-permanently stamped on each n every single hearts. but, i'll keep that aside for a moment. i think everybody's grieving n i dun want to make it more worst. yes, i love him. we love him so much that some of us cudnt accept it that he's gone. forever.

told ya that i've got so many things mixed up that i dun even no where to start. Atiq, i've been crazy reading ur blog, kerol's blog, kak jumie's blog n ade lah a few more. until i felt like im giving up writtin blog...hahahha....baek baco blog ore jah key? he hik..

again, im sorry for privating my blog tanpa sebab yang kukuh to tell. im sorry that i lied about editing my layout or sumthin2. i'll start blogging again. i will. so many to tell, so many to spell. aaaa, maybe i shud jot down some of the major topics for future post *ala-ala flashback lah kan?* hahahahhaa..

1. Dayang Nurfaizah
2. Teater Nyonya
3. Malam Anugerah Sanggar Sanjung
4. Interview?
5. a bit of my love life
6. a new hobby *jeng3*
7. My Birthday

aaaa...that shud be ok for now. later ya~ bye

love.